When Mama Leaves

It was interesting recently when I was gone with work for 2 weeks in Europe. The girls had a hard time at first, but it's really the adults around me that had the hardest time. I'm not faulting anyone or complaining really....it's just an observation that when a man or father needs to leave home for work, it's not much of an issue. Nobody gives so much as a shrug at the thought. His partner might complain a little, plans may need to be rearranged or cancelled, friends may need to be called upon for help. Yet these duties seems to go with the territory and it's mostly not the male partner who is making these arrangements even though he's the one creating the burden. When a woman leaves the vibe is different. I made the arrangements for my absence, which took months in the making to double cross all the t's to make sure everything was covered. Then the comments start to fly like, "what a great opportunity," and "aren't you lucky?" Some would seem to prefer to keep me in a state of continual gratitude for simply participating in my own life as it's unfolding. Due mainly to my gender it seems, this idea of leaving is somehow extra special. Without me at the helm, securely in place, what will happen to the home and hearth. I'm ruined by my perception that house holding is often closer to prison for women. The more you do (and the better you are at it) the more stuck to home and hearth you become. I love having and creating a home, but why does this mean I feel the need to apologize when I leave it. And to add insult to injury for many I have the audacity to gleefully admit that I love leaving it. There's this tinge of disappointment in the faces of those that just want me to be content with "what I have." Is that a wish really in my own best interests or in theirs-having settled long ago for lives that fell far short of not only expectations but true abilities and potential. If we, as women in particular, spent more time supporting and less time gossiping and judging, it occurs to me that we could all get what we want, whatever that looks like.