The Space In between-Personal or Political, Same Thing

It's interesting watching the state and now the country squirm with the unresolved struggle in Wisconsin between two vastly different realms of thought; ways of doing and being.  It's our nation's macro debate on a smaller scale.  And it's ugly.  We've forgotten how to just talk to each other.  America is its own worst enemy.  Frankly, I find it embarrassing and frightening.  Yes, to citizen action, but shame on the conditions around our crisis.

The issues and what's at stake are out there now, not sure we have to keep beating our points home.  What's not being talked about is the emotional toll and the scars this will leave on people; neighbors no longer quick to shout out hello across the street; family members not talking about politics (it's too uncomfortable-might cause a rift).  Well, I got news for ya, there's a rift alright.

I'm in the space in between.  In between caring and full on retreat.  In my bathroom this morning, I noticed the hair forming a light dusting on the sink and floor.  My rolling eyes trailed over to the mop in the pantry and my brain quickly dismissed any thoughts of cleanliness.  Who cares?  Of course, it is February in Wisconsin and I am sick and operating at 1/3 of my usual powers with a sick child and partner to boot.  We are all in between sickness and health, power and powerlessness, peace and all out war.  It's a dangerous place of fatigue and apathy.

Our squiminess with this limbo comes from not being used to anything less than instant gratification, a quick techno fix, a cookie cutter formula, medication?  None of the above will heal this wound.  This takes some old fashioned sweat and blisters; communication, cooperation, dare I say it, if not love then a place of baseline respect.   Until then, we need to learn to be comfortable with the uncomfortable.  I would even go so far to say, we need this experience to grow as a culture (or perhaps just grow up).  With "leaders" who provide little leadership in this arena-we wait in all its sticky, slimy social goop.  And when the dust settles in my bathroom and in Wisconsin around this immediate crisis, will there be substantive, ongoing debate?  Will there be a conversation that is fluid and open?  Are we going to demand it or not?  We're talking about nation (state) building and there's no business plan you can graft onto that.  This requires a kind of artful, creativity that I don't think exists in the political realm now.  Nobody that I can see has the "right stuff."

Sometimes we have to tear the whole thing down and start over when the mistakes have made the structure unsound.  Personally or politically, there comes a time in life for deep and dramatic action.  We're here.

The New York Times Gets It Completely Wrong in Madison!

Today the NYT, of which many of you know, I'm a BIG fan, totally let us down in an article regarding our state's incredible showing of civic energy and participation.  The headline reads:

Dueling Protests in a City Where Nothing Is Getting Done

What!  What!  Can I be reading this correctly?  Nothing getting done?  This is the worst reportage I have ever seen from the NYT.  What's getting done is democracy.   Clearly we've forgotten what that looks like.  Are we this far gone that unless there's a neat and comfortable solution with immediate gratification we aren't getting anything done?  I can't remember, and neither can anyone else my age, when democracy has been working so hard.   There are times when there isn't a quick fix, when we can't just all just shake hands and go grab a latte.  It's not that easy.  What's getting done is having the overdue experience of having to sit in the stink of our differences.  To have to look each other in the eyeballs and defend a position in uncomfortable, funky real time.  Face to face without gloss, dramatic scores, animated effects, or artifice.  Behold the flesh and blood of it.  It's a spectacular event-no matter what your position on the issues!  I would contend more is getting done in Madison, Wisconsin then society has seen in eons.  The question now becomes will society reap the benefits of this critical work?  Will we never again have to endure the small minded thinking that seeks to ram a bill through with no debate, no discussion, no voices other than the powerful.  This is what's getting done-getting back to real discourse (remember that?)-one way or another.  People have a basic human right to be heard.  I don't care whether it's hard or hurts-this is the journey and we're taking it.  Demanding true discourse and the art of compromise is messy, squirmy, lengthy work-we are watching it get done.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/20/us/politics/20wisconsin.html

The Way This Works in Your America

You take your stand


however damaging


and make it work
somehow


I don't have this notion from left field,
right?


They got it in 17th century Holland


Rembrandt's "Nightwatch" holds all you need to know to be successful


chaos celebrated
with white men and
guns

Letter to Scott Walker-University of Wisconsin System RIP

Hi Scott,

I just wanted to make you aware that the image that you and your people have painted of average university workers like myself has resulted in the dividing of neighbors and friends over gross and irresponsible misinformation about how "great" we've all had it.  Here's what you didn't think about.  The vast majority of us aren't making the 90k salaries of engineering professors with all our benefits paid.  We're advisors, program assistants, custodians, maintenance personnel, secretaries, office managers, and so on.  We make very modest salaries-well below our friends in the private sector who have paid more into their health care because a.) they make more and b.) those were the terms of the employment they agreed to.  Our small salaries were cut by furlough days-I guess we all thought we'd made a real sacrifice and done our part. Now with what you propose, for me as a single mother this means no car, literally less food, certainly no newspaper or cable.  Ha, what luxuries!  Are your kids going to go without piano lessons and camp too, Scott?  Are you going to ride your bike to work because you can't afford your car payment?  Did you think about how this was going to be the very last nail in the coffin for scores of us who were literally just barely making it as it was, with our partners and spouses unemployed or underemployed, for years in some cases?  Do you know there are people working full time in higher ed in Wisconsin who will now fall below the national poverty line?

Watch the talent fall away like rain.  The brain drain from what was our state's crowning jewel, this once magificant state system of higher ed, now decimated by quick fixes and short sighted thinking.  You've made it clear that you don't value higher education or what countless Wisconsinites worked so hard to build over the years.  To have the governor turn his back on education and seek to destroy the backbone of what could ultimately refuel the economy-an educated populace-is an embarrasment.  I am ashmaned and sickened by your lack of vision and leadership and resent your toying with my life and family's security and that of my remarkable colleagues who have devoted thier careers to helping people in the state of Wisconsin acheieve their dreams, indeed their highest potential.  Higher education at its best is an incubator of hope.  A taste of what's possible for students and their lives.  Now that I can't participate in the economy other than to pay for watered down basics, I wonder what's really possible for the state under your direction?  Good for you and your balanced budget.  You can grow all the business in the state you want and I for one won't be able to buy a thing at your counter.  

YES to YOGA

Hi!

Come join me for a vigorous Vinyasa Flow Class, 11:30 am - 1 pm, Saturdays at Yama Yoga in the beautiful Third Ward.   My goal for students is to have you leave feeling relaxed and energized all at the same time.   Parking is free for up to 2 hours on Saturdays so please come and give it a try!  See the link below for pricing and other details.  See you Saturday...

Namaste.....

http://yamayogastudio.com/

Suggestion for Wisconsin State Workers in Light of the Looming Benefits Raid

On February 22nd, Scott Walker is going to slash the benefits of state workers without any hope of raising our salaries and without lifting the mandatory furlough days-perhaps adding even more, who knows how far the cuts will go.  So, without those benefits (which were great AND well deserved) it will be akin to taking a huge pay cut...that's what it really is.  So for those of us who are already struggling, it will mean contemplating dropping family coverage and if possible, opting out the the pension plan.  Now the state contributes 6% of our salaries yearly without a match.  Now, I don't know what our "portion" will be, but I've decided I don't care because I don't need a pension.  I won't be retiring thanks to Scott.  Nor will I be participating the state economy beyond buying food and other necessities ever again.  I already have nothing left over due to chronic unemployment in my family and I've basically given up.  Luckily, I like my job and I continue to stand up for education even though clearly the state no longer does.  Madison is contemplating leaving the state system altogether and Milwaukee may well join them.  Sadly, our state is too short sighted to see that the way to prosperity is through education and not around it.  But I digress,  I'd like to suggest a "20 year plan" for state employees who are a part of the lost generation of workers like me in our early 40s (plan length adjustable based on age).  Growing old sucks anyway.  I don't need any more time on this planet beyond my early 60s.  My kids will be raised and before I become any more of a burden to the State of Wisconsin, perhaps I can just permanently opt out.  I think the new state government will applaud this example old fashioned, taking care of business, personal responsibility solution to the budget problems.  Glad to be of help.

Trying to like football on Superbowl Sunday in Packerland

We've survived Snowmeggedon; we will survive Superbowl Sunday in Wisconsin? I'd like to point out that I wrote a paper in college about why football simply shouldn't exist. That seems so subversive in Packer Country. I try now instead of having contempt for the male only institution of sanctioned violent pounding of others called sport, to surrender to the fact people just need something to root for-especially now. If you strip the ugly parts away, it's like Star Wars. Or Beowulff. Or an afternoon at the feet of Joseph Campbell. Redemption and hope for all in the warrior's journey. You can turn this hype around and discuss the beautiful metaphor that's tucked in there. Of course, rooting for the freedom of Egypt, for example, is the the real life battle. But in general, people have always needed a safe, fantasy tale to work out the difficulties of real life and make sense of themselves and the world. Football represents the basest way of doing just that.

When Mama Leaves

It was interesting recently when I was gone with work for 2 weeks in Europe. The girls had a hard time at first, but it's really the adults around me that had the hardest time. I'm not faulting anyone or complaining really....it's just an observation that when a man or father needs to leave home for work, it's not much of an issue. Nobody gives so much as a shrug at the thought. His partner might complain a little, plans may need to be rearranged or cancelled, friends may need to be called upon for help. Yet these duties seems to go with the territory and it's mostly not the male partner who is making these arrangements even though he's the one creating the burden. When a woman leaves the vibe is different. I made the arrangements for my absence, which took months in the making to double cross all the t's to make sure everything was covered. Then the comments start to fly like, "what a great opportunity," and "aren't you lucky?" Some would seem to prefer to keep me in a state of continual gratitude for simply participating in my own life as it's unfolding. Due mainly to my gender it seems, this idea of leaving is somehow extra special. Without me at the helm, securely in place, what will happen to the home and hearth. I'm ruined by my perception that house holding is often closer to prison for women. The more you do (and the better you are at it) the more stuck to home and hearth you become. I love having and creating a home, but why does this mean I feel the need to apologize when I leave it. And to add insult to injury for many I have the audacity to gleefully admit that I love leaving it. There's this tinge of disappointment in the faces of those that just want me to be content with "what I have." Is that a wish really in my own best interests or in theirs-having settled long ago for lives that fell far short of not only expectations but true abilities and potential. If we, as women in particular, spent more time supporting and less time gossiping and judging, it occurs to me that we could all get what we want, whatever that looks like.

Ganapati Grows

It's been a long while since I've written at all about Ganapati. I've taken my one woman show to the LGBT Center at UWM to bring yoga to all who are inclined and frequent the center. It's been a great experience doing yoga in a public space, with folks passing in and out, our mats simply in the middle of the common room. It's a different kind of experience then the usual soothing, zen space. Not bad, just different and it fosters a kind of intense focus as your mind competes for your own attention with all the distractions. It's "fine focus" yoga.

Any suggestions for teaching in this environment are welcome.....

Namaste!

Scene One


Hard wind in October blows the patio furniture off the deck
Upending the balance of summer

Moments ago
Your bike was abandoned on the driveway
Colored by chalk and pink nail polish

In old shorts and hand-me-down t-shirt
You ran with shouts and in character
Filling in the space where sunshine stopped in the corners of the afternoon

The trees,
Full and green as shade umbrellas
for little bodies interlaced with sweat and bandaids
playing like nothing else mattered

It’s all changing and
soon will be gone

hoping for another chance to get it right

Introduction

We sat there awkwardly
waiting for something to change

cars on the highway rushed by
leaving shooting trails of light and dirt
a shot of anticipation

Watching your car
winding quickly around the corner
the way it goes when you've come to far to go back

Barefoot and wearing a winter coat in fall
you offer up your hand and
an almost sigh

more information to manage

All compressed into minutes, dark and mostly wordless
we handled the boys from one car to another

(for Lisa)

Hi. It's been a long, long time. I quite simply forgot about this blog for a while. I forgot the password and everything. It was interesting to me that a few people had noticed it and left a comment. Anyway, I need an outlet for writing. So this blog is going to be it. Get ready, set, go....

October 2009

It's been a very long time since I've blogged. My apologies. Summer has a way of taking you away from things that winter has a way of returning. Like returning to the warmth of the indoors and the computer screen. I've published a poem below. Hopefully it's the first in a series.

Ganapati continues to emerge. A small group of like minded friends has gathered around the project and blankets have been purchased with donations from the recent Global Mala gathering through the Anahata Project...Thank You Amy!

Be well,

cw

New Poem

After 5

The way this works:


I collect you with what’s left of my efficiency
Your roiling energy meets my limp

I have so little to give you.


dinner from a freezer
a quickstep through homework
a handful of pennies
perhaps a bath

I bought the shampoo with you in mind,

tangerine
to match your sunny sweetness

like a high wattage bulb, you keep the lights on in here

in this space, between the old life and our future,
we are building
a monument with scheduled blocks of time

to continually remind me who we could be.

Community Involvement

Below is a link to an article on the Hunger Task Force's website. This was a project at UWM that I was involved with a few months ago....can you find me in the photo?

http://www.hungertaskforce.org/donate/great_examples_of_giving.php

Be well...cw

Kittens and Commitment

We've got new kittens and we're pretty excited about it.  Lucy and Eve both have their own special kitty-both girls-Namaste (grey) and Starry Night (black with white socks and markings). Really cute and a little naughty-just like kittens should be.  

Yoga News

Greetings Friends,

It's been a busy spring and summer is upon us. Teaching at Mount Mary is over for the semester, but it begins at the Pink House! I will be teaching at the Pink House Studio in Riverwest, 2474 N. Booth St. Monday nights through June, 5:30 to 7 pm. Come Join us.

Work is in progress on promotional materials for Ganapati. Thank you Val for coming on board! We are planning to have a Facebook page to begin a network of interested parties both teachers and non-profits. Again, stay tuned for our launch party. It will happen, but we are getting some more things in place for the project first. Any suggestions are appreciated and welcomed....

Blessings, cw

Ganapati receives another donation!

The Ganapati Project wishes to send a big thank you to Tracy E. of Hartland, WI for her generous and kind donation of gently used yoga blocks, straps, and mats. I can't thank you enough! If you or anyone you know has gently used or new props that they would like to donate, please email me at christinewolf@yahoo.com.

The Project is actively seeking certified yoga teachers to teach 4-6 week yoga sessions at Milwaukee area non-profits. Also, if you are affliated with a non-profit that would welcome yoga classes for their clients-please get in touch! Please stay tuned for launch party information! All ideas are welcome!

Peace! cw

Yoga Conference Lessons

Recently I attended the Yoga Journal Conference in Lake Geneva, WI. I had the pleasure of having workshops and classes with David Swenson, Seane Corn, Nikki Doane & Eddie Modestini, Paulie Zink and other accomplished yogis and yoginis from around the country. Like any movement, yoga in North America is full of different kinds of people, seeking varied rewards and outcomes from their yoga practice. The conference certainly reflected the diversity of the yoga community. I have heard somewhat disparaging comments among more "serious" yogis and yoginis regarding the housewives in their Lulu Lemon ensembles, meant to be comical, but nonetheless are negative and quite contrary to what we as practitioners of yoga should be focused on. On the road to gentleness and compassion that yoga paves for us, we need to be mindful that there is no room for judgments and taunts directed at your sister on the mat. She is also on the road you are on, whether her journey be easy or hard, heavy or light. There is plenty of room at the yoga table for all of us, no matter the motivation for being there in this moment. Remembering all the while that the reason someone is bothering you on some level, making you react, is because she is reflecting something in yourself that you don't like. Those among you in your yoga class that may be more interested in comfortable pants than enlightenment are still there, seeking, being, trying, just like you. I found the conference a great reminder that yoga is a family of people that may have a lot in common or not, just like any other family-and that we need to celebrate that diversity of thought and being and find ways to make us and the yoga community stronger and not as a way to divide us into subgroups. There is a place for us-all of us. Let us live out the best gifts of yoga and be one another's "Artha" or that which supports the path.

Ganapati receives first donation!

Dear Ones,

I'm grateful and delighted to report that the Ganapati Project has received its first donation from follow yogi Barb Labisch in Milwaukee. I can't thank you enough Barb for your generous support. Her gift will be used toward purchasing the project's first yoga straps, 6 in all! If you know someone who would also like to donate either funds or gently used props for travelling yoga classes at area nonprofits, please drop me an email.

You may view the Ganapati Project Wish List here:

https://yogaaccessories.3dcartstores.com/view_wishlist.asp

The account email is christinewolf@yahoo.com; password-ganapati, should someone wish to make a purchase on-line.

Stay tuned for details on the Ganapati Launch party in May.....

This is the day we are creating...so be glad in it!

Peace and Happiness...Christine